Two nights ago, I spoke to SD's mother on the phone for the first time in a few weeks since she'd switched phone companies. We were catching up on everything, she asked what happened when I tried to call and ask SD for her cell number when I was worried that her aneurism ruptured which is a story all it's own, and we got on the subject of court.
I found out shortly after my last post when SD told me that he wasn't going to give me a dime in child support, even after I told him I couldn't afford gas to get me to school, AK to daycare, or AK a pack of diapers, that we have court on the 19th of this month. Monday, actually. He's being charged with failure to comply with a court order. You guessed it, that court order is child support. I'm thrilled that something is being done, anything at all considering he is literally $1,497.00 behind, AKA $1,500 (I round up).
So, we're talking about court, I'm telling her how excited I am and she's telling me that he said he's not going to court. I laughed it off and said "Well, I hope he enjoys a bench warrant and the knowledge that the judge will make a ruling in his presence just as easily as his absence, so he's only hurting himself." And then she went on to say something that shook me hard. "Yeah, and he was talking about terminating his rights last week."
Ouch. Really? At first I was mad and said "Absolutely not, I won't allow it, he's going to have to be a man and pay child support." and then I just got really, really sad. I started thinking "Wow...So he'd rather keep $187 in his pocket every month than to have an emotional, physical, or legal bond with my son?" and eventually, I began thinking "Well fine, if that's the way it is, I'm going to call him and tell him if he'll pay for the lawyer, I'll agree to let him terminate."
That ultimate decision weighed heavy on me all day yesterday. Focusing was completely out of the question in all of my classes and got so bad in my last class that I just laid my head down on the desk and would make frequent trips to the bathroom to try and keep myself from crying. It hurts to know that the child you'd lay your life down for is so meaningless to someone who should love them just as hard. I kept wondering what I'd done to make him hate my son, what I could have done differently, why he hated my son, just...Why.
So, I had lunch with a friend who is wise beyond her years and explain the situation. She tells me that when she encountered something similar, she was advised not to allow termination and to just take him for everything she could because those were his kids too. Then I mentioned to her that a friend was asking if they were going to garnish his wages Monday and I mentioned they'd have to do a court order, which they could and may do.
So far, I've decided to wait til Monday. If they garnish his wages, awesome. But he won't be coming to my son's birthday party which is in two weeks since he wants to terminate. In fact, if he wants to see this child, he can take me to court. I'm done. He's had two years to be a part of his life financially, emotionally, or physically and has failed on all accounts.
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