My First Post.

 I never really thought about having a blog, because I knew I'd end up using it as a therapist and venting all of my problems to a blank page. But if anything I say, anything I have learned, or any inspirational messages I share can help out another mother who was the 'victim of a sperm donor', that's great. So let's start.
I want my blog to be anonymous, so call me T. My name is T, and I am the victim of a sperm donor. I met my son's father in early 2010 and like most idiots, fell in love. Of course everything was perfect until his flaws became ever more apparent...His need to drink daily, his lack of urgency to obtain employment other than mowing lawns for beer money, his disdain for pursuing education including his GED...The list goes on. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant, we broke up due to the fact that he began calling me drunk and accusing me of the most absurd things with a very colorful vocabulary, and he went MIA which seems to be a common happening these days.
My pregnancy was far from flawless. After my first trimester, I was diagnosed with pregnancy induced hypertension which as luck would have it, developed into pre-eclampsia that brought friends...Low amniotic fluid, prematurely aged placenta, restricted umbilical cord blood flow...You name it my friend, I had it which lead to my hospitalization at 30 weeks. For a month we both fought, my son and I, to stay alive. I fought to keep him in utero to grow and get healthy, and he fought to stay. But after I hit 34 weeks, the umbilical cord blood flow had gotten worse and induction was on the horizon. After 36 hours of labor, I was wheeled in for an emergency c-section and he was born.
The love of my life, the most important person I had and would ever meet, the reason I would get up in the morning, the reason I would better myself and fight for a better life...He was all these things and I had just met him. But my beautiful, precious, and amazing 4 lb 14 oz, 19 inch long fighter had to stay in the NICU for two weeks.
He came home and he grew, and Sperm Donor was not to be found. After searching high and low with friends and family turning into blood hounds on the trail for FIVE MONTHS, I finally found Sperm Donor. We will call him SD for short. And that is where this journey begins.
My journey is bittersweet. Laced with happiness, joy, and pure bliss from having this amazing child who just shocks me every day that I could produce someone so perfect, and yet it's darkened by his presence, his words, and his actions.
Hang in there mommas. If there is anything I learned, it's patience.